Dear Agatha,
I enjoy your column and love the way you help people. I hope you can help me too. I am a final year law student, who will be 22 years come April.
My problem is that due to my shyness as well as my strict up bringing, I haven't been able to make friends, except in school. I wonder if you could help me.
Adaeze.
Dear Adaeze,
There is no magic about making friends. That you have been able to nurture friends through school; it means you have what it takes inside of you to be friends. The only thing you haven’t been able to do is to take your friendships out of the school settings.
Friendship is essentially about having something in common. You and these colleagues of yours have something that binds. Look at who among them you would love to have as a friend. Chances are that most of them would have loved to change the status of your association to something more fundamental but seem to be scared by the invisible wall you appear to have unconsciously erected between you and others around.
You have to bring down the wall you have erected to make it easier for those wishing to be friends with you to cross over. It is called meeting people midway. It simply takes a simple sentence like ‘how are you’? What a nice outfit or smile you have got to change the status of friendship from causal to something more enduring.
Friendship understands that we all have needs for each other at every point in our lives. It is also about being sincere, unconditional in our relationship, loyalty as well as patience to ignore. To be a good friend, you have to learn first to be a friend to yourself. When you know how to treat yourself right, you will learn how to treat and respect your friends.
Good luck.
I enjoy your column and love the way you help people. I hope you can help me too. I am a final year law student, who will be 22 years come April.
My problem is that due to my shyness as well as my strict up bringing, I haven't been able to make friends, except in school. I wonder if you could help me.
Adaeze.
Dear Adaeze,
There is no magic about making friends. That you have been able to nurture friends through school; it means you have what it takes inside of you to be friends. The only thing you haven’t been able to do is to take your friendships out of the school settings.
Friendship is essentially about having something in common. You and these colleagues of yours have something that binds. Look at who among them you would love to have as a friend. Chances are that most of them would have loved to change the status of your association to something more fundamental but seem to be scared by the invisible wall you appear to have unconsciously erected between you and others around.
You have to bring down the wall you have erected to make it easier for those wishing to be friends with you to cross over. It is called meeting people midway. It simply takes a simple sentence like ‘how are you’? What a nice outfit or smile you have got to change the status of friendship from causal to something more enduring.
Friendship understands that we all have needs for each other at every point in our lives. It is also about being sincere, unconditional in our relationship, loyalty as well as patience to ignore. To be a good friend, you have to learn first to be a friend to yourself. When you know how to treat yourself right, you will learn how to treat and respect your friends.
Good luck.
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