What Makes Real Man, Woman?

Dear Agatha,

Please enlighten me on what makes a real man. Is it money, possession or age? And what makes a real woman? Emotional needs understanding or what?

Knowing Man.

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Dear Knowing Man,

There is more to life and people than what they have or what they don't have materially.

The quality of a man or woman for that matter isn't measured by what he or she doesn't have in terms of material gains but by those enduring qualities that can never be qualified.

Being real is all about giving free rein to those inherent qualities to flourish unhindered.

These are qualities money cannot buy just as the most powerful office in the world cannot confer on anyone qualities he or she lacks.

To be a real person, learn to be very honest and not claim people or things you don't have. There is nothing as real as being truthful about whom you as well as what you are. People lose credibility when they lie or behave brashly. Humility is what gives the world its salt of difference. No matter the position you find yourself, learn to be humble.

Humility doesn't devalue one's position in life instead it enhances it. Therefore for you to be anything in life, you must learn to first be modest. It helps a great deal in making a relationship to survive the rough and bumpy experiences associated with two people trying to become one person.

Being a man, it behooves you to allow the milk of kindness flow. It is the only way a man can be on top of his affairs and life. When a man is insensitive to the feelings of his woman; he risks isolating himself from his home and children. As the eventual head of your home, you must have what it takes to carry everybody along.

Your woman can only provide you with the necessary support if you trust and respect her. If you treat your wife badly, you also risk being treated badly by your children who naturally see you as a bully and someone who doesn't like their mother. For you to be a real man, you must have children who respect you and are willing to defend you at all times irrespective of what others think of you. Beating your wife or girlfriend doesn't present you as a strong man but instead it presents you as a weak and violent man who is insecure in his own ability to function as man and leader of the team.

A real man is the one who doesn't rely on violence or anger to get his home going. When a man exhibits respect for himself as well as others around him, he not only earns the converted trophy of being able to instigate confidence but is able to get his team away from difficult bends with minimal effort.

Everyone around you must be able to identify you with one principle in life. For instance, without you being present, someone should be able to say something in your defence when an issue occurs not because that person is out to get favour from you but because the person knows what you represent in life.

Nobody would ever have the boldness to defend or recommend a characterless person for any position.

For some strange reason some men think being cruel to women emotionally gives them authority over women. It is a very wrong end of the stick. Maltreating a lady emotionally doesn't fall within the gauge of what makes a man important instead it makes him appear very irresponsible and incapable of keeping a relationship. The ideal thing is for one relationship to be terminated before another is entered into.

Women respect a man more if he has the boldness and sensibility to end a relationship instead of two-timing or being cruel to her.

A man may have all the money in the world, live in the best houses, have the right connections but lacking in the basic human characters that brings joy to people around, nobody would ever have respect for such a person.

A real woman is that one who is ready to endure, preserve, support, love, care, understand and respect her man unconditionally. A real woman isn't after what a man looks like, what he doesn't have materially. What she is interested in is the who that is inside his body, the real man, the one who is caring and who has a clear vision of where he is going and man enough to admit to his mistakes and stand by his decisions no matter the consequences. These are attributes money cannot buy.

Good luck.