Does Success In Marriage Obey Tribal Bias?

Dear Agatha,

I have been reading your column with great interest for sometime now.

There is this notion that some tribes are a no-go-area (dangerous zone) when it comes to love and marriage. For instance there is this thinking that Bini women are either wicked or diabolical irrespective of whether or not they come from Christian families or not. 

What then is or are the options for someone in a situation like, one in love?

Ebi.

 

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Dear Ebi,

True love has no creed, colour, tribe or biases whatsoever. When it happens it doesn’t discriminate against the feelings of the two people involved.

However, certain influences and submission have made love very subjective. For instance, there is no where in the world where there is a draught of wicked people. Right from the beginning of time, wickedness has reigned supreme yet this has not stopped people from getting married and having children.

Africa, Nigeria in particular, is not without its fair share of wicked people in high places. It is particularly bad in Nigeria where too many sentiments, ethnicity as well as nepotism have been allowed to take over our fair sense of judgement in very crucial matters.

We are products of a wicked world, wicked ancestry as well as nefarious foundation. What makes the difference is our own resolution over the path we want to tread in life. So also is our relationship with God.

If you place all that you have heard about a particular set of people forward in your choice of a live partner, you might end up never getting married or getting any woman for that matter to marry you. This is because there is no tribe or people in the world that haven’t been stigmatised. So when we stand in judgement against other people; it means we are pointing accusing fingers at each other endlessly and needlessly.

If love is what you feel, don’t listen to the voice of people but the language of your heart. What is your heart telling you about your love? What are the qualities that make her so outstanding and endearing to you? What is the tribe of her character? Of the happiness she brings into your life or the peace you get being with her?
Do these things make you absolutely happy at being a man?

When you compare her with all the other girls you have dated or know; what conclusions do you come up with? Do you see yourself aging gracefully together and is she the friend you need to be wholesome?

These are values you should focus more on. Simply because someone decides to brand one or your ancestors as being wicked or fetish doesn’t mean something good and beautiful cannot come out of you.

The heart of the person you are in love with is what matters most. Many people who today are powerful servants of God have foundations that emanated in occult and very fetish practices.

Not even the western world despite its mental and technological advancement is without such practices. If worship centres devoted to devil flourish in such societies, how much more in a society such as ours which is still struggling to define religion?

Don’t lose the chance because of what others say or think, you may lose the opportunity of being happy in an institution where most people are unhappy.

Rather than listen to the voice of men, take your case to God and listen only to what He tells you on this matter.

Good luck.