She wants me after her lover relocated

Dear Agatha,

Thanks for the good and marvelous work that you have being doing in helping people out of their problems.                            

I am 18 years of age and have just finished my secondary school education, waiting for my results. There is this girl, three years older than I am who has been asking me out. According to her, she is in love with me. She knows that I lack nothing to give her, but insists she wants me. 

Aware she has a boyfriend, I asked after him. She said he has relocated to Owerri and that is why she wants me since she cannot wait for him. Bothered about her statement, I asked if she would also dump me if I gained admission outside where we both stay. She didn’t answer. When I also asked what would happen should the boy come back she didn’t also answer. However my message box is flooding with love texts from her. Please Agatha what should I do before I get on the wrong lane? 

Ndu.

Dear Ndu, 

Candidly, you don’t have the experience to deal with this kind of lady. She is ways above you, so run while you can else you will not only have your fingers burnt, but also your heart shattered. 

What she is offering you isn’t love, but an adventure into the world of pains and disappointment. Concentrate on getting a school where you will meet the right girls. 

Any girl who will dump her man on account of him relocating to another part of the country cannot be counted on to be faithful to any man. Like you rightly observed, there is nothing that says she won’t also leave you when you are not available around her. 

Relationship is about endurance and perseverance. A woman, who isn’t ready to persevere in a situation isn’t ready for a relationship. It is also about trust and sacrifices. The boyfriend who is away expects loyalty from her, wants to depend on his woman’s support and grow the confidence that no matter what happens to him she would always be there for him.  Leaving him on account of him being away to follow you falls short of what is expected of her and a decent woman. What if they were married and he has reason to travel without her for a while, will she go outside her marriage to have an affair? Responsibility to one’s partner doesn’t begin on the day one goes into a relationship, it is what everybody should train himself or herself to do from day one of having a relationship. 

There are no guarantees she won’t also leave you for another man or that she would be faithful to you when her other boyfriend comes back. 

At 18, your major challenge now should be how to improve on your life, getting the right kind of education and equipping yourself for the challenges ahead as a man. There are season attached to everything we do on earth. When it is the time for you to be serious with women, God will bring the right kind of woman who would support you to succeed in life your way.

Good luck.