Dear Agatha,
I want to commend you on the good work you are doing. Indeed, you are God sent!
I met a girl I liked in school during my re-sit exams and we became friends, but have both graduated now. During the association, I realised I wasn’t emotionally matured at 25, but decided to wait until I resolved the problem before stepping-up the friendship. I feel miserable about it though we are still friends. Please what do I do? I am uncomfortable even with the few male and female friends I have, as some of them think I’m ignorant.
Also, I’m confused about making my choice of a career between becoming a lawyer and a doctor. I want to become what God has destined me to be and to be happy in life but don’t know how to discern God’s voice in this situation.
Chiedu.
Dear Chiedu,
The first step to success in life is to learn to accept the person you are. Don’t ever apologise to anybody for who you are. God in His all-knowing wisdom has a reason for making you the way you are. To apologise or allow yourself to be affected by what others think about you is to question the supremacy of God in all things.
Resist the temptation of seeing yourself in the eyes of others or attempts by others to put you down. Everybody can’t be outgoing type. As long as your peculiarity doesn’t bother on wickedness, you must always keep a part of you, because that is what makes you unique and appealing to those who love you.
There is no way you can have a mass appeal, not even those who are outgoing have that kind of support. There will always be people who think you are odd or don’t fit into their kind of persons. To be bothered about the opinion of these kinds of people is to waste valuable time on issues that will not add value to your life.
The secret to dealing with this kind of situation is to look for people whose minds are broad enough to appreciate the uniqueness embedded in every man. These are the kinds of people who can help you grow and also give you the space to be yourself.
You don’t need a large wagon of friends to make the difference in life. Friendship is more about quality than quantity. Friends don’t criticise each other, they protect. Anyone who thinks you are odd isn’t a friend. Do away with that person to avoid regrets.
You are specifically made to the glory of His name, so liberate your mind from whatever anybody thinks and relax, because life is too short to dwell on issues that are not positively inspire. What is important now is to go closer to God to find out His purpose for you so you can dedicate the rest of your life, pleasing Him. Believe me it is the only way to tap into His fountain of unlimited supplies and mercies.
It is also important too that you keep this in mind; being ignorant isn’t a crime but to be stupid is. Some people think they have all the answers only to find out later that they have been stupid all along.
As for the girl, since you are already friends, why not fill her in on your feelings for her? At 25, you are not too young to have a relationship as long as you know the things that are important to you. Let her know you have a goal and would at all times need her support to achieve it. Telling her about your plans, as well as the things you want to avoid now in the relationship will go a long way in helping you both gauge your levels of compatibility, friendship and perseverance. Don’t forget that the success of the future you plan would depend on you having the right kind of woman by your side, hence absolutely important to any man to factor his kind of woman into his future plan. It is often a huge mistake, one many men make ignorantly to plan first before looking for the woman to spend the rest of their lives with. The right woman should form the foundation of whatever it is you are hoping to achieve later in life because the wrong kind of woman could make nonsense of everything.
What subjects are you best at? Are you a science or arts student? Are you good in all the subjects? Deep down, what is your passion? Do you get chilled at the sight of blood or think it is exciting to see how the human body and organs work well? Are you enthralled like I once was by the wig and solemnity of the bar? God gave each of us our unique talent. If you devote more time to studying who you are, and you will know which of the professions would give you the best fulfillment. However, it always help to go back to God in prayers so that your profession would become your hobby, something you simply cannot stop doing, because of the amount of joy you get from it.
Good luck.
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