My daughter and I are pregnant for the same man

Agatha, gataedo@yahoo.com, agatha.edo@gmail.com, Tel: 08054500626 Dear Agatha, I am in my early 50s. I am divorced; have been for more than a decade. I live on my own with my three children. About a year ago, I went into a relationship with a man four years younger than I am. Being married, we meet in my place. As a matter of fact he has the key to my flat. It was better than going to hotels. Besides, my daughters were grown up to appreciate that I need a man in my life. Well I thought I could trust him so I gave him permission to come to my house whenever he likes whether I am in or not. I also assumed my daughters were responsible enough to see him as their father. Unfortunately, I miscalculated. Unknown to me while he was having affairs with me, he was also sleeping with my two older daughters. I didn’t know what was happening until I took my eldest daughter to the hospital following her persistent complains of malaria. I also haven’t been feeling well; so decided to visit the hospital with my daughter. When the results came out, we were both pronounced pregnant. I was shocked because I didn’t expect to be at my age since I have been having irregular periods in the last two years. At 28, my daughter has never been pregnant. I was happy for her thinking it was the man I knew her with was responsible. Then, it didn’t even occur to me that he has been out of Lagos for three months. It wasn’t until we got home that the real problem started. We met my boyfriend at home. While I was still thinking of how to break my news to him, a text message came to his phone. After reading the text, he became very agitated so much so he lost concentration. I was so concerned, I forget what I was about to say and snatched the phone from him to know what got him so upset. The way he responded to my taking the phone got me very suspicious; I quickly transferred the message to my phone before handing it over to him. I did the transfer while he was struggling to take the phone away from me so, he wasn’t aware of what I did. I almost fainted when I read the text and discovered it was my daughter telling him that we were both pregnant for him and that he should tell me to abort the baby since she was going to keep hers. She told him if he tried to play smart with her, the whole world would know that he has been sleeping her mother, sister and herself. The worst thing now is that he is nowhere to be found. I have tried getting him on his phone numbers but none is going through. The friend I know him with says, he doesn’t know his whereabout and has bluntly refused to take me to his house. My second daughter has left home for an unknown destination following the revelation by her sister that she too has been sleeping with him. I am very confused as my daughter and I are stuck with out situation. How do I explain to the world that my daughter and I are pregnant for this same man and that he is no where to be seen? What do you suggest we do? Although my daughter is still adamant about aborting her pregnancy; I am scared about aborting mine given my age. Rita. Dear Rita, This is an untidiness you could have avoided by keeping your home off limit to your boyfriend. It was an error on your part to encourage and give him a blank cheque to your home whenever likes. With grown up girls in the house, you took too much for granted of a man who isn’t the father of your children and who you have known for such a short time. No matter how you tell this story, you will be blamed at the end of it all. The essence of hotels is for situations like yours. Nobody would condemn you for being single or having the urge to have sex but, everybody would blame you for the situation in your home. What kind of story will you be telling the world that you and your daughters all slept with the same man? And that you and one of your daughters are pregnant for the same man? At 50 plus, you should have been more circumvent in your actions and conduct. Your love life should have been veiled in top secret. One gets to an age when discretion becomes the operative word especially in a situation like yours. What men can get away with, women cannot. A single man can bring in female friends into his house without fear of repercussion or molestation of his children but not so with a single matured woman with children. She has to be careful at all times to prevent the consequences of her decision rubbing off on her children. Now, you have given your husband every reason to ridicule you and rake up all the nasty things that led to your divorce from him. There is no way those who once gave you their sympathy, will want to identify with this mess you have made of your life as well as those of your children. Frankly, it is rather too late in the day to worry about where this man stays or works. At your age, shouldn’t that have been your first concern; to have vital information about him? What if it the story has been him dying in your house, what would you have done? Who would you have contacted among his friends and family members? How would you have explained to the Police? While your daughters can be excused for being ignorant of the implications of having a complete stranger share your bed, what about you? The recent incident also calls to question the kind of examples and training you gave to your daughters. The fact that your elder daughter isn’t showing remorse at what she had done; underscores a certain concern about the health of your relationship with your daughters. The fact that they both knew the other was sleeping with the same the same man means something is very wrong in your home. You must have taken certain steps in the past that did go down well with your children. If they both didn’t know that they were sleeping with the same man, it would have been a different story but knowing that they are sleeping with the same man their mother is involved with, points to a deeper problem for you. While it isn’t in my place to tell you what to do with your pregnancies; as a mother, you must find your runaway daughter in addition to sitting your children down for a frank discussion. Chances are your elder daughter knows where her younger sister is. They must have colluded to hurt you for something you did to them. Therefore, the woman in you must be dead to jealousy and anger. To give in to these emotions is to destroy whatever is left of your family. Ask them what you have done to make them angry with you. This isn’t time for you to patronize them either. It is that time to mend fences. The hurt and determination to cause you embarrassment maybe the reason your daughter is insisting on keeping the pregnancy; the explanation for sleeping with your man friend. Their hurt is making your daughter blind to repercussions of the road she is so determined to take. Use whatever respect you have left as their mother to help bring her back. Forget your sense of betrayal and help your young and confused daughters come back to the right track. There is nothing a willing heart of forgiveness cannot achieve. Once you are able to clear the cloud of pains in your hearts, chances are you will all be able to iron this thing out positively. As for the man, he simply took the opportunity you unwittingly offered him. If you didn’t open your door to him, he wouldn’t have been able to inflict these pains on you and your home. Even if you find him, what do you want him to do? Accept your pregnancy and your daughter’s? Is the shame of being pregnant for the same man with your daughter not enough? The less people know, the better, else the story of the kind of shame you have brought to yourself and daughters will get to your ex and his family. Certain things are best left unsaid. Allow him to go while you mob up the mess you have brought on yourself with the dignity of a woman who knows she has made a mistake and is out to make things right. If you don’t mind, see me in our corporate office, Independent Newspapers, 7D Wempco Road, Ogba Lagos. We have one or two things to discuss as women and mothers. Good luck.

Married man with seven children wants to marry me

Agatha, gataedo@yahoo.com, agatha.edo@gmail.com, Tel: 08054500626 Dear Agatha, There is this man who wants to marry me. He is married with seven children. I am confused as to whether to marry him or not. He is the one responsible for my education and is paying my house rent. Precious. Dear Precious, Every marriage has its purpose. As a young lady, what would be your reason for wanting to marry a man who has a wife with seven children? Are you marrying him for love or because he is a means to an end? Could it also be that you have given up on yourself and life; thinking that without him you will never be able to get another man? Have you considered the fact that a covenant of life everlasting exists between this man and his wife? That marriage is an agreement between a man and woman; that a third party has no place in it? What would be your gain if you decide to marry this man with his large family? What gender of a child do you want to give birth to that his wife hasn’t given him already? This is why you should think twice before taking a step you will forever regret in life. As a young lady, don’t you have positive plans for your future? Beyond this man paying your school fees and providing you with a roof over your head, what kind of life are you expecting from him? Isn’t marriage supposed to be a source of joy and companionship to the partners? Marriage is a wonderful, sacred and precious gift from God, which must be protected at all costs. The real issue here is that you lack knowledge of your essence in life. Without you having a clear vision of who you are, what you seek to achieve in life, you will never be able to identify who is good for you. It is the lack of this clear cut vision that has forced you into this situation where you allow a married man with seven children pick up the responsibility of sending you to school and housing you. Even if you don’t want to do it, the very fact that he has assumed the duties of educating you has given him the right to demand for such privileges from you. The thing is not whether he is right or not to demand it of you but, of you knowing what you want at the end of the day. No matter your challenge in life, you took the wrong steps by allowing a married man pay your school fees. Honestly, if he insists you marry him, you are to blame. You cannot dine with the devil without being friends with him. When you agreed to accept money from him, you should have known this day would come when he would want to reap where he has invested. It is just that you won’t be the only one to suffer from this greed of yours. His innocent wife and children will be at the receiving end too. This is why you must resist the urge to make a more foolish decision of marrying him. To make things clearer for you at this confusing stage of your life, pause to think, what do you want from life? What kind of man do you think will help you bring your dreams to reality? Do you think without this man in your life, you won’t be able to make it in life? Yes, you may feel under obligation to marry him given the fact that he is paying your fees but given the fact that he is the husband of another woman and he has seven children, do you think it is wise? Have you stopped to wonder at the kind of husband and father he is? Why would he want to marry another woman after the woman in his house has given him seven children? Even if he is so buoyant, there is a want in his family the money he is spending on you can take care of. If he were your father, how would you feel if he brings in another woman to compete with your mother? Better still, in the woman’s shoes how would you feel if after giving a man seven children, he finds a replacement for you no matter what your shortcomings are? Since you will definitely want to have your own children after marriage, do you think he has the ability to care for all of you adequately? Do you think his wife and children will sit by and watch you take over their space, father and his resources? And do you think he will continue to care for you after your relationship becomes official? Do you realise that the same reason he is giving for wanting you for a second wife can be raked up by him in later years to justify his reasons for bringing in another woman as third wife? Once a man has the tendency to add another woman to his first wife, he is just as capable of adding several women to the list. Marriage is a journey of several turns, tumbles and crashes. There is no perfect person or couple. There is nothing that is wrong in his present marriage he cannot fix if he is determined. Going into a relationship and asking you to marry him is only an excuse to escape reality. Besides, after having that many children, do you think yours will make any difference to the number he already has? The responsible and sensible thing is for you to call a halt to this relationship. Not just ending it but stopping him from being responsible for everything concerning you. You are a woman; how would you feel if your husband suddenly comes home one day to announce he is marrying a younger and educated woman? For him to be paying your school fees, it means the other woman isn’t educated and now that things are looking up for him, he wants a younger and educated woman. Deep down how will you feel if you are this woman who is about to be discarded like a used tissue for a younger woman? Whatever condition she is in now that has made her very unattractive to him, he helped put her in that condition. There is no way a woman who has been to the labour room seven times would look young and supple. The stress of seven pregnancies and attendant trauma of childbirth must have taken its tolls on her body. Whatever his grouse against her maybe, life for a woman with seven children can’t be a tea party. She needs the help of her husband to make a success of all her roles in life. Rather than source for you, responsibility demands that he stay with the situation he has helped to create in the woman’s life and not find solace in the arms of another woman. For your own sake, have the guts to end it all. Beg him to forgive you and to let you go. Be clear that you don’t want to destroy another woman’s home. Apologise to him for accepting money from him all the years you did. Ask mutual friends to appeal to him on your behalf. And importantly, go to God for help. It is better you offend him than his wife and the children you are already offending by being in his life. Time and resources he should have spent on them, go to you. If he doesn’t allow you go after appealing to him, refuse to pick his calls or entertain him to pass across your message of being serious with your decision. There will always be a friend who wants to share your accommodation or move in with someone looking for a roommate. It will cut down your expenses by half. Begin to make plans for yourself and unwittingly your future. Hard work doesn’t kill. Get yourself a job or go into buying and selling to pay your way through the remaining years you have left in school. There can never be happy endings in life without doses of discomfort and bitter pills. What will be your story if you don’t struggle to attain a certain goal in life? Good luck

Does he want me or my money?

With Agatha Edo, Email: womaneditor@independentngonline.com,gataedo@yahoo.com or agatha.edo@gmail.com Dear Agatha, I am a 23-year-old lady in a relationship with this very handsome man. He is a graduate and lucky to have got a job after his compulsory national youth service. I, on the other hand hasn’t been able to further my education as a result of my poor background. But there is something bothering me about him: whenever we are in bed, he turns his back to me instead of him to hold and cuddle me. Whenever I try to hold him, he pushes my hands off him. I want to know if he loves me. Secondly he is demanding N20,000.00 from me. I am confused. Nsi. Dear Nsi, Isn’t the answer to your question obvious? This man wants what he can get from you. Having defrauded you sexually, he is also desirous of fleecing you financially. The question is not what his intentions are but your own perception of what he really wants from you. Unfortunately, you are too blind by your emotions to see beyond the desires of your heart to preserve a relationship you don’t even have. Isn’t it obvious from his attitude towards you that you are nothing more than a willing bedmate he comes to when he has the desires for a female body? As far as he is concerned, you are just another face, someone to appease his sexual hunger; you could just have been another girl for all he cares. Men like him don’t consider the love of a woman as being important. If you are not there, he won’t miss anything because there will always be an agreeable girl for his likes. If you have N20,000.00, shouldn’t you be thinking of going back to school? Only very few young men are ready to take chances with a young uneducated lady. Even if they are prepared, will their families in this present age allow their sons to marry a lady whose best qualification is a secondary school leaving certificate? Unless you are serious with your life, has plans for yourself, you will never be able to rise about a certain level. Men you desire like your current bedmate will always treat you like dirt because you have nothing beyond your body to offer them. He is making a fool of you because he knows you are desperate to have him in your life. Whether you give him the money or not, he will still leave you once he is fed up of your body. That money can get you started in life if you are determined to earn your way into the hearts of men generally. Use your experience in the hands of this man as your motivation to success in life. With that money, get a form and enrol in a class that will prepare you for the Joint Admission Matriculation Board examinations. Learning has no age limit. Once you are able to gain admission into a university or polytechnic, you will be able to fund your way through school if you are the hardworking and innovative type. As long as you are contented, not interested in keeping a class you cannot afford, you will sail through with minimal stress. Problems come when young girls want to show class they don’t have. Provided you are determined, the sky becomes your stepping stone. Men like your current date will begin to rethink their old perception of you. They will begin to see beyond your body and look deeper into your mind to the future they can have with you. Irrespective of what men say, they want a woman who has a measure of independence, one they can show off to their friends and who can take charge when they are not around. You may be hard-working, but for a man who is a graduate, you may not have the kind of exposure he desires in his woman. Whatever it will cost you, end this relationship. It is pointless because this man doesn’t have any kind of respect for you. He doesn’t love you at all. Go before he destroys you for another man; extinguishes your self-confidence. It will be so unfortunate if this man through his treatment of you takes away your dream in your own abilities as a promising young lady. Leaving him will give you the chance for self -development and fulfillment as a young woman. Although you will feel some emotional discomfort for the time being, but overtime, you will be glad you did. The way others value us depends on how we value ourselves. If you don’t take steps to accord yourself some respect, no man will ever take you seriously. Good luck

Help! Accident has left him without erection

With Agatha Edo, Email: womaneditor@independentngonline.com,gataedo@yahoo.com or agatha.edo@gmail.com Dear Agatha, My marriage was perfect until November, two years ago, when my husband of five years had an accident that has made it impossible for him to be a husband to me. That he survived is a miracle. It was a battle but he eventually pulled through but a muscle in his reproductive organ was discovered destroyed. He has been to United Kingdom and United States of America but to no avail. The doctors are hopeful that someday, the muscle could repair itself but before then, he remains impotent. He isn’t paralysed because he has the use of his legs but he simply is unable to achieve erection as a man. The doctors in America have given him a 50-50 chance of full recovery but this is neither here nor there. The sad thing for now is that I have a husband who cannot sleep with me. It has been two years now without sex. Already I am feeling the pressure of it all and, it is making me frustrated with my marriage. I am a very young woman; 32 years of age; there is no way I can continue with this kind of situation. My eldest child will be five in October while my youngest one will be three in March. A friend I shared my frustrations with, introduced me to the use of a sex toy but it doesn’t give me the satisfaction of the natural thing. Recently, I have been the object of affection of a man who lives three streets away from ours. I ran into him by accident at a supermarket in the neighbourhood. My second child was demanding for something I wasn’t in the mood to buy for her but he stepped in and got it for her. In the process of thanking him, we exchanged a lot of information. That is how we became close. Some mornings when I don’t feel like taking my car, I hitch a ride in his car. I really like him and want him in every way a woman wants a man. I have allowed him get close to me but not that close. Agatha, you are like the mother I don’t have. I have consistently read your column since I got introduced to it shortly before I got married. As a matter of fact, I was at the programme, “Just Before Valentine,” you organised at the Airport Hotel a few years ago. This burden is too much for me. My husband is a saint; there can never be anyone like him for me. But I need to do this to be able to protect my home. I don’t want to hurt my husband so I have been avoiding discussing the matter with him since the incident. I don’t want to give him the impression that sex is all that concerns me. He is doing his best for us, has gone out of his way to be extra nice even though he has always been a very good husband and father to me. While some of my friends think I should leave him and find another man for myself, my best friend says, I shouldn’t but can keep a secret boyfriend very far from home. She says I shouldn’t do anything with this man who lives not far from us because the scandal will eventually break and could lead to the death of my husband. I am so confused. Please help me. Deroju. Dear Deroju, I really empathise with you and your husband. These are clearly not good times for your marriage. But we give God the glory he survived the accident. Where there is life, there is hope. Your situation is more of a faith thing than medical. Sincerely, this is the time for you to get absolutely close to God. This isn’t something you do with other things in your mind. This kind of request demands the essence of you to obtain the right results from God. The issue here is, are you ready to seek the face of God with your husband? If the doctors have given him 50-50 chance of recovery, why not stay with God in prayers? Remember your marriage creed; the vows you took to stay with him through thick and thin; in sickness and in health. As a woman, I understand the sacrifice I am asking you to make, but be rest assured that God isn’t in the business of giving us a burden too heavy for our fragile frames. Deep inside you is a reservoir of strength you don’t know you have, but waiting for you to release. Your friends all mean well but this situation is more than sex. It is the life of your husband. Have you sat to imagine his state of mind, his fear, humiliation, frustration as well as all the negative emotions going through his mind? Do you know the sadness deep in him knowing that he can no longer be the husband you need in that area and the attendant fear of losing you to another man as a result of his disability? Can you imagine what the situation is doing to him? To discover overnight that the thing he once took for granted has been taken away from him? That he cannot be the man he once was? You are free and healthy. Your only problem is his inability to make love to you but have you thought of the multiplicity of his own problems? Sex is the easiest thing to get; the cheapest; unlike what he is going through. Yes, you can follow the advice of your friends to seek sex outside your marriage but at what cost? Will you find that lasting happiness from doing it? Would it give you the kind of peace you have with your husband? How many who see you come and go with these men are you going to explain your situation to? Do you think they will applaud you or condemn you? If you were the one incapacitated, how would you feel if your husband is seen painting the town red with other women? He isn’t denying you sex because he wants to, he cannot make love to you as a result of his health condition. Be careful because tomorrow is pregnant. Since doctors have not written him off, it could be the day you are caught with another man that he will regain the use of his manhood. Doubtless sex is important but if it is the ‘be it all’ in man-woman relationship, there won’t be so many failed marriages in the world. This means there are more important things in marriages that keep it going against all odds. This is what you should find in this thick dark clouds floating through your marriage. Be rest assured that this time will pass; it might have come to help solidify the foundation of your marriage as well as open your eyes to the other qualities that are important in marriage. Give your marriage and man the strength to recover from this tragedy. Sex will come and go but the important things that give character to marriage and bring about peace as well as harmony is what you should infuse into this particular stage of marriage. Furthermore, you have to discuss your fears and situation with your husband. And you both must resume love-making. Maybe consider oral sex with him; it will help bring about some emotional stability in your person. You are tensed because you have refused to revisit the incident and discuss your various options with your husband. He needs you more than ever before with your children whose lives will be affected one way or the other if you decide to seek sexual satisfaction outside your home. Good luck.

Hard to love my wife after robbers raped her

Agatha, gataedo@yahoo.com, agatha.edo@gmail.com, Tel: 08054500626 Dear Agatha, I join all those you daily bless through your column to pray that God will also answer your prayers even before you call on Him. Last December while on our way to spend the Christmas holiday in the village, our bus was not only waylaid by armed robbers, but the women on board, including my wife, were also raped. Only the very elderly women escaped this torture. Although I knew my wife was two months pregnant, I asked her to abort the child after what I witnessed. I didn’t want the blood of those robbers to mix with that of my unborn child. I will never be able to accept such child as mine. Since then, I haven’t been able to come close to her. The few times I tried to touch her, images of what those men did to her and all the women on board of that bus will immediately come to my mind making it impossible for me to go any further. This has been on for more than eight months now. Our first child clocked three in April. I don’t know if I will ever be able to make love to her again without remembering that horrible incident. She is now asking for a divorce as a result of the way I treat her. She said I am being cruel and that I have gotten another woman to take her place in my bed. I won’t lie there have been various women to take care of my emotional needs. I have tried explaining to her and all our family members who have intervened as a result of what she told them about our marriage to give me more time. I love her so much, actually I met her a virgin. She has always been a good and responsible woman. It is just that I don’t know how to get that thing off my mind. But I don’t want her out of my life or home. Like I said, she is the best wife any man can ever have. From all indices she is ready to quit and move on with her life. I am so confused and don’t know what I really want any more. I am so disappointed. Please help me. Confused Husband. Dear Confused Husband, The first thing to do is to try to put yourself in your wife’s shoes. How would you feel being raped in public while your husband stood watching helplessly? How would you feel being told by the same man to abort an already existing pregnancy on account of the dehumanisation you suffered in the hands of those robbers? Also try to imagine her pains at being denied the comfort she needs to recover such humiliation by the same man who did nothing to protect her honour as a woman? If there is anybody who should be disappointed, it is your wife, not you. While you acted with common sense on the day of the incident, because there are no heroes in the graveyard, but you are now acting with gross insensitivity to your wife. She deserves your compassion, support and understanding to overcome her double shame. Don’t forget some men would have elected to die rather than allow any man put their wives through such horror. If she is not condemning you for being such a coward at her hour of need, why should you revile her for being a victim of her gender? You didn’t stop at denying her your compassion but also asked her to abort the child that could have helped her to recover quickly. You were, and not being fair to this woman. She didn’t ask to be raped. No woman enjoys the forceful attention of a stranger on her person. For a woman who has known no other man, kept herself for her husband, she must be going through so much emotional turmoil. What she needs isn’t what she is getting from you. By denying her your compassion and presence, you are unwittingly taking away everything that meant something to her until that unfortunate incident. Your attitude towards her is worse than what she suffered that day. A woman can face the world if her man is there by her side, helping her to recover as well as putting on her again her garment of honour. Had you done that, this incident would have been fading in your memory by now. Your stubborn refusal to let go is what has kept the memory of that day fresh in your mind. Those men are no longer responsible for what is happening in your home; rather you are the one now at the wheels of the vehicle destroying your home. Your wife needs you not just as her husband but also as an understanding friend, a partner and helper. Even if you are not up to making love to her now, at least be the friend she needs now. She is going through so much and may not even need you to touch her intimately but to provide her with a compassionate heart and willing shoulder on which to lay her troubles. You must understand that violation didn’t happen in secret, it happened before other men. Though she wasn’t alone, but do you even understand the shame of being made to do what is entirely private in public view, made to expose her dignity to other men who watched in cowardly silence? If the truth must be told, it is your pride and manhood that was raped that day, not hers. If she is not hating you or mocking your claims to be a man, it is only because she is very much in love with you and too much of a good woman to give you a piece of her mind. That she is asking for a divorce is because you leave her through your actions with no choice. She has gotten to the limit of her endurance. What manner of mind-set would make you leave a woman for eight months without coming near her or offering her the comfort she needs to recover. Your attitude has left her with nothing worth fighting for in your home. As it stands now, not even the presence of her child can make her stay with a man who so obviously hates her with the passion he once loved her. You are lucky. Some less strong willed women would have since tried to kill themselves or go out of their home to find a man willing to make them feel clean again the same way you are doing in the arms of other women. It will take a while for her to forgive your rejection of her. If you cannot stay off sex, what makes you think she can? Should she decide to look elsewhere for sexual satisfaction, would you be able to blame her? If you want your home back as desperately as you sound, woo yourself back in her heart. Time is what you no longer have, so perish the plea for it. Sincerely, if you don’t act now, you might as well kiss her and your marriage goodbye. Eight months is a long time to leave a married woman who stays in the same house with her husband in the cold. If you are not careful the next time you will look her way she will be in the arms of another man, this time not unwilling, but with her consent. Therefore, the first thing to do is ask yourself the reason for your attitude. Deep down, who are you really angry with – yourself or those men? The fact that you watched helplessly as these men desecrated your wife and your marital vows. Did you feel jealous? Did she make a move or sound that you think suggested she liked it better with them? Frankly, these are issues you have to sit down to deal with on your own before going to her to make peace. Granted the sight of another man raping one’s wife can be very hurtful, but something is making it impossible for you to forget it. There is no moving for either of you, if you are not honest with what is really niggling you. By admitting it to yourself, you set your marriage free to move on. Without you first being at peace with yourself, it would be almost impossible to give peace to your wife and marriage. Once you are clear, go to your wife to talk. First apologise for your attitude. It will make her receptive for discussions with you. By the time you finish explaining to her, her heart would have thawed sufficiently for you to make whatever move you deem necessary in the pursuit of recovering your home. Usually, the gathering ominous clouds will clear once you make this first move, but it behoves you to go the extra mile to rid your marriage of every remnants of this unfortunate incident. You both need the presence of God to heal properly. Ask for His presence in your home, lives and marriage. With Him, nothing shall be termed impossible. Good luck.