She wants her virginity till wedding night…

With Auntie Agatha,gataedo@yahoo.com, agatha.edo@gmail.com,Tel: 08054500626

Dear Agatha,

Am a regular reader of your column, may God bless you more as you continue in your work.
There is this problem, which has been giving me considerable concerns for sometime now. It has to do with my girlfriend who is refusing to sleep with me. She is 19 while I am 23 years of age. We have been together for about two years and five months now. 
Each time we discuss the subject, she disagrees and says she will find it difficult to stop once we get started. In addition, she says she wants to keep her virginity for her wedding night.  
Agatha, I am afraid of losing this girl because I love her so much. I don’t know what to do. She does not like me talking to any girl each time she pays me a visit.  Please tell me what to do.
Ebere Obi.
 
Dear Ebere Obi,

What is the real problem here? The fear of losing her to another man without you having sex with her, or her refusal to have sex with you?
From where I stand, this letter calls to question your claims about loving her. If you really love this lady, you should trust and give her the necessary support to be who she is. 
She has told you, she cannot marry sex with other things now; it is a very honest answer. She is giving it as a condition for you to marry her. All she is saying is that you should allow her be, she wants to hold on until her wedding night. If truly you love her and want to marry her, why are you then in such a hurry?
If you don’t stop putting pressure on her, you actually risk losing her to a man more understanding and appreciative of whom she is than you. 
Besides, at 23, do you have what it takes to be a father, as she could get pregnant from her first experience? One thing is to desire sex another thing is to be prepared for the responsibilities that go with it. Do you have the financial wherewithal to support mother and child while still holding on to your own dreams?
At 19, she is just emerging from the cocoon of her teenage years and protection of her parents. She would naturally want time to know what freedom is.  This is the kernel of her fear. She has to know what she wants to know – the direction to go. You are lucky to have a woman who is this deep. Not many girls her age realise that sex is a huge distraction to one’s dream and focus. That she is able to realise this early in life, shows a young woman who is matured and has value for herself.
You would do well to allow be. It is the only way this kind of lady will respect and honour you. Importantly, you must learn to trust her completely especially as you haven’t caught her in an act that which suggests she is lying to you about her virginity or interest in you.
As long as you don’t have any ulterior motive concerning this relationship, don’t have the plans to abandon her after you have a taste of her, learn to take each day as it comes in this relationship. If God says you two are meant to be together, nobody would come between the two of you.
Good luck.