He took blood oath with his ex

With Auntie Agatha

gataedo@yahoo.com, agatha.edo@gmail.com Tel: 08054500626

Dear Agatha,

I started dating this man in my life six months ago because we both love each other. 

However, trouble started when his ex-girlfriend, he dated for three years started sending me very abusive text messages which I never bothered to reply. But when she shifted focus to my boyfriend, going as far as coming to his house to cause commotion I became worried and asked if there was something between them or happening that I should know of. To me, her reactions were becoming abnormal; it was no longer a case of them being separated or me dating her ex.

At first my boyfriend lied to me but deep down I knew it was more serious than he was letting on. Something prompted me to ask him one day if they took a blood-oath to which he admitted.

Aware of the spiritual implications, I called the girl on phone to explain to her the need for them to try and break the oath and that if they want to get back, it was okay with me.

I said this because I care so much about my boyfriend and want him to be happy always even if I would be hurt in the process.

My boyfriend was very categorical about not wanting to go back to her while the lady insists she wants to continue with the relationship; and very adamant she doesn’t want my boyfriend to leave her.

Seriously, I’m not finding the situation funny at all. I’m willing to give up my boyfriend if it would make them both happy. I trust the good Lord shall one day smile on me. But is it possible for them to continue in their present lives without breaking the oath? I’m 28 years of age.

Confused Lady.

Dear Confused Lady,

A lot depends on your boyfriend. It is what he wants that will subsist. Even if you leave him as you are so graciously contemplating doing, if his mind is made up on not going back to this other lady, there is nothing you can do to make him change his mind about continuing with a woman whose interest in his heart has died.

He has told you he isn’t ready to go back to her so stop trying to play the heroine by forcing him to stay with a woman who obviously is out to blackmail. If you don’t love him enough to stand by him; then it is a different matter but giving him up for a woman who has come to make trouble between the two of you isn’t comprehensible.  No woman would readily give up her man to another woman even if the woman was in his life before she started dating him. Chances are you are scared of the implications of the blood oath between them; a more acceptable reason for your offer to let go of him.

The questions I will ask you are; do you love him? If you do, to what extent are you ready to support your boyfriend and relationship to succeed?

As long as he doesn’t want to do have anything to do with his ex, let him be so that both of you can concentrate on the more imposing issue of breaking the blood oath. Since the lady in question appears determined to use the blood oath to hold your boyfriend to ransom, she will never submit to any suggestion they go for deliverance so; the onus is on your boyfriend to go and break the oath on his own.

This he can do, by going to a good deliverance church for prayers and deliverance. However he should inform her of his intentions so that she knows that the relationship she has in mind between them is over and done with.

Seeing how determined he is to break the oath, may make her change her mind and also seek spiritual help of her own. As the woman in his life, your duty is to pray and offer unconditional help.

Only fair weather friends abandon one at the point of great needs. Don’t neglect this fact that at the point your boyfriend went into this oath taking, he thought it was his final bus-stop and didn’t even think of the spiritual enormity of what he was getting into.

Clearly, something went wrong with that relationship to make him adamant about going back to her. If you leave him in the middle of his confusions and regrets at whatever he did with his ex, you will be making him more vulnerable to more mistakes. Surely, this can’t be your intentions or the worth of your love for someone you claim to love deeply?

Unquestionably, you have handled this development with extreme measure of maturity but your decision to leave him makes nonsense of your efforts.

Every relationship has its high and low points and its soul lies in the ability of the couple to put up a common front in tackling any problem. Also it is of premium importance to state the truth always. If you are afraid, which is legitimate given your knowledge and experience of what an unbroken blood oath can do to a new relationship; don’t hesitate to tell your boyfriend so.

Perhaps he is ignorant of the spiritual burden he has placed on himself by that oath but hearing you tell him of all the distastefulness of not dealing with the issue now, will make him act fast.

Love is one chemical reaction that demands everything we have to offer to make another person happy. You may not feel up to fighting any woman for the love of a man but love demands it of you to stay around your boyfriend and give him the strength to withstand what this other lady is trying to do.

I’m sure you aren’t a coward who runs at the sight of the minutest challenge. Love is all about boldness, sacrifice, support and trust in what you feel deep in your heart. At times, what you see and feel may not agree like is happening to you now but, you simply have to give in to trust which is what every relationship requires at every point to sail.

All you can do is to quietly ask your man again if he means what he says about wanting to stay with you instead of going with the other lady. Also, a lot of things would make sense to you on the reason he took the oath, if you give him the opportunity of explaining himself.

Although, you didn’t state it, a combination of anger and something close to jealousy at the extent he went with this lady maybe the underlining factor in your decision to concede him to his ex.

If you are patient and persistent, God will use this challenge to build your relationship in such a way you would wonder at how much He can do. I appreciate your apprehension but once he goes for deliverance, there is nothing to fear.

One more thing; no matter how nice you are, don’t allow intruders into your space. It isn’t done. While you are right to ignore her messages, make it clear to her that your boyfriend and his house are off limit to her; that you will no longer entertain her presence in your love life. If she couldn’t keep him when she had him, she shouldn’t use the excuse of a blood-covenant to disrupt your relationship. You will certainly be making her day by giving in too cheaply to her blackmail.

Good luck