Fallacy Of Online Romance: Your Take?

Dear Agatha,

I just finished going through your web, www.auntieagatha.blogspot.com. It is really nice.

And it brought about this nagging question. Is it right for men to use the online option to search for a woman?

To be honest, I doubt the workability of such a relationship because ladies hardly take such open request from men serious. From my observations ladies hardly reply, though there are few exceptions.

My conclusions are that the average lady has too many men asking for her hand to be bothered about the mystery man on the lonely heart column or behind the cover of the internet. She lacks both time and patience to pay attention to online 'applications' for relationship from men she doesn't see.

Another thing I observed is that ladies' who summon the courage to write make unrealistic demands.

Even at that she ends up more confused by the responses she gets to her requests.

Added to this is the fact that when a person sees too much of something, there is the tendency to take such thing for granted. The thing is that ladies are used to requests from men to take men who come to the lonely-hearts columns serious.

What therefore in your view, are the factors that can explain this trend?

Ajibola.

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Dear Ajibola,

My views are simple. The man was created to be the hunter and woman the prey. Hunters go in search for their prey even in the most difficult and excruciating conditions. A desired prey can attract the attention of many hunters who want it for keeps. This is the same principle that works in a man and woman relationship.

It is the prerogative of the man to run after a woman, not the woman to run after the man, at least before marriage.

When a girl is in her prime, she is like a beautiful bouquet of exquisite flowers, attractive to all eyes that see her.

It is natural for such attention to get over the head of a woman and live her with little or not time to pay attention to men who for one reason or the other decide to use the lonely hearts columns to find a partner but it doesn’t make the process entirely unworkable.

There are women who still bother to read these columns or go to the Internet to find a partner. There are several women who have been hurt, are tired of the fakeness of the rush hour, too confused to know who to settle for or want something entirely different from others. These categories of women do crave the mystery and company of lonely heart columns as well as the Internet to source for their men.

For people who aren’t bothered about such thing as physical beauty, looking for partners who have that extra special feature which like gold takes plenty of patience and dedication to unravel, the lonely-hearts columns may provide them with all the alternatives and differences needed to be happy.

It must be emphasised here that lonely hearts are not meant for everybody; it is only for those who know its worth that appreciate its essence.

Contrary to expectation, they are not for those who are frustrated or unable to attract the right attention. It takes a woman who is definite about what she wants to give attention to the anonymity lonely-hearts columns or Internet dating offers.

On the issue of women not rushing massively to respond to requests from men, women by nature are conservative and cautious than men when it comes to signifying interest in a relationship. Women think out all their options properly before responding while men respond to women first before thinking. This account for the high mails women get and the low volume men also get.

Good luck.