Dear Agatha,
The prayers for all your efforts cannot be quantified. Not only by the efforts you have been put into resolving our problems, but also the passion, zeal, and maturity displayed.
Agatha, could you please educate me on how best a man can govern his home, especially in the face of the global advantage of love transcending beyond the boundaries of the nations?
Worried Man.
Dear Worried Man,
The best way for a man to govern his home is to be very honest to himself. Once he is honest, refusing to do more than he can afford, involving his wife in his affairs and letting her know how things are with him, it would be a lot easier for the man to manage his home.
Many a time problems come with men try to hide so many things from their wives due to lack of trust or belief, thinking that once the woman knows how much he loves her or the amount of money he is worth, she would begin to misbehave.
While not totally untrue is some cases, but a misconception that is ruining so many homes as wives become increasingly suspicious of their men, refuse to accept that the man is telling the truth even when all the indices point to his innocence.
The man saves himself a lot of problems by telling the woman of his mind everything she needs to know about him. This gesture enables the woman to offer her unreserved support as well as the necessary understanding to organize her home. When a woman knows her man isn’t taking her for a ride by hiding information from her, she learns to give him her trust as well as respect at all times. This brings about a strong determination in her not to abuse the trust of her husband, hence her willingness to do more than she would ordinarily have done to keep her man happy always.
Contrary to what many men think, being honest with the woman is like blackmailing her to give him all her support. It is actually a burden for the woman whose conscience will always remind her not hurt the man who has given her so much of himself. Honesty, on the part of man, does what love cannot do. While love does the initial work to bring a couple together, it is honesty that ensures they stay permanently together.
This is because, love engineers tolerance, sacrifice, respect, understanding, patience and unconditional support from the woman, who because she is in the know of everything would know what to demand for and when to do it or make arrangements of her own to resolve a financial problem. She knows that hers isn’t in the right position financially to execute such a project, no matter how minor.
It helps the love to grow into a deep friendship that seeks to protect the well being of her husband at all times even from the increasing demands of the children. But when a woman doesn’t know what her husband is doing or involved in as well as how much he has, suspicion is bound to set in especially if he is unable to meet his family obligations. Rather than discourage the children from piling the pressures on their father, would instead lead the revolution against him, because she feels the money he should have invested in the home is being channelled to somewhere else.
With the world increasingly becoming a global village, cross cultural relationships and marriages are on the increase, which means a lot of information are being traded on the love scene. Many a time these relationships begin to experience problems when couples discover that the information exchanged are not true. Being honest helps to prepare the other person for the challenges ahead, gives insight into the character of the person he or she is involved with, moderate expectations and helps to balance the fact that the person one is going into a relationship with isn’t a superhuman or an angel. Hence, he must not be expected to perform more than the ordinary person.
When a man tells lies about himself or status, it reduces him to nothing before the woman. Hence, it becomes difficult for him to apply control in the relationship, because he has compromised his position by claiming to be who he isn’t. It presents him as irresponsible, consequently difficult for any woman to respect or take orders from.
The integrity of the home and a man’s ability to manage it draws strength from his credentials as one to be trusted because it takes trust for a woman to leave her family and take on another man’s name. Therefore when she finds out that the man isn’t half the person he says he is, it causes her to regret in an inexplicable way her decision. And for some women, the man may never again gain her trust, and can give birth to anything from subtle to open disrespect for the man.
So for everyman to continue to be relevant in his home, truth must be upheld at all times.
Good luck.
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